i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
is wine microwaveable?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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