think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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