Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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