So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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