White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is that strawberry winking at me??
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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