3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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