So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
