Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
