I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
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maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
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The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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