so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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