Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
