This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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