my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
