Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
