We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just high enough for therapy.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
