just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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