Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
