im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
