I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
