My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
