He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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