He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
