Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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