So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
