Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
