I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
