there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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