I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
