I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
