I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
