I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
