Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just cut my nipple shaving
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
