quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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