I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
