yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
