That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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