idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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