he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
