at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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