she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
