dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
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I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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