hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
