I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
operation have a gay friend backfired
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
