Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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