When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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