No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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