Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
