I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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