nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
