Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
