I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
