Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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