That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
