The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my being single is dangerous.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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