We're like a lot better than the average bears
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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