There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So much rum. So many feels.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
