The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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