So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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