my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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