is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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