Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
