Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize