im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
