You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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